Cliché Yaoikun
by BlindBeyondSight
Summary: Yaoi scenes are always the same nowadays. So here's an overly clichéd Yullen scene just for kicks and laffz. TROLOLOL


**Hey guys. BBS is feeling a little loopy so she wrote a crack fic that is basically a parody of the generic form yaoi sex scenes have taken lately. Please note that as a crack/parody fic, 99% of mistakes will be intentional. I promise I'm not this terrible.  
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**ENJOIZZ. **

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**Cliché Yaoi-kun**

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Allen was walking slowly in the Black Order because he is a moyashi bean sprout and he likes to walk a lot and has short legs. Sometimes he runs because he also likes to run a lot. Sometimes he sees Kanda in the Black Order because he goes there too. And then he gets a funny feeling below his tummy but then he is straight. Allen has blue hare now because he likes blue and it's his favorite color and it looks like Kanda. Except Kanda now has blonde hare because he doesn't like when Allen copies him because Allen is a poser to him and he doesn't like posers.

Kanda is byesexual like Allen two…

They both don't like each other because Kanda is a emo kid and Allen is a scene kid and THEREZ A VERY BIG DIFFERENCE GUIISSEE!11!1!1! BBS-chan thinks that scene kids are cuter because they have colourfull hare!1!1!

One day Kanda and Allen saw each other in the cafeteria (lolz) and they both had funny feelings in their tummies. Allen looked at the raven-black-ebony-midnight-cerulean ninja sexily. Oh wait sry guise, Kanda haz blond hare now. So Allen looked at the blonde-silky-corn-yellow-golden locks of hair on the ninja with a long sword cutely.

Kanda was mad at Allen because he eats a lot and never gets fat. Kanda had to watch his wait since he was a little kid and even dough he has too really hot abs (lolol tupac) because he likes to play with his sword he still can't eat a lot because he can get fat. Soba is a negative calorie food (I saw on Tumblr) so he eats it so he can be malnourished.

Anywayz, they looked at each other prettily and then…

THEY BOTH HAD ERECSHUNSSS!1!1!

Allen was embarrassed because he had a tiny weewee like a kawaii-neko-shounen and surely Kanda's weewee (lolol I can't say penis because my mom said it's wrong lolol) was the size of Japan because Japan looks like a weewee. But it started leaking like a half opened water bottle and he got really aroused. He slapped himself flirtily in the weewee when no one was looking but then he still had a…

ERECSHUNNNN…

So he went to Kanda and was like, "I really like you. Like a lot." Very sexily and fluttered his eyes.

Kanda was really cunfuzed because he was byesexual which means he only likes gurls. But maybe he liked Allen too so he muttered, "K." nervously.

The white head (lol like the pimple lol) was sad because Kanda only said, "k". So he began to cry seductively which made Kanda's weewee stand up a lot like the Eifel Tower. But then he felt sad too so he hugged Allen passionately and whispered shittily, "Ily 2, k?"

Allen was very contented at this revelation and his intelligent white head soon told him that he wants to fornicate with the cavalier who liked to play with steel metallurgy. Allen hugs Kanda closer and smirks then says, "Let's sex."

"Ok."

The two run hotly to Allen's room and close the door urgently. They kiss a lot with tongues and stuff and it was really sexy, guys. Kanda chews on Allen's neck and the whitette moaned really loudly. Their weewees are supersoaked (lol supersoaker water guns, geddit?) and they groaning sexily. Kanda peers into Allen's eyes which were glorious orb bishounen giant pools of moe and kawaii desu. They are also silver like Kanda's kunai (I can't remember the sword name, lol) which made him more turned on.

Allen shoved his hand down Kanda's pants and grabbed his peenie and yanked on it masochistically. He moaned again and whispered, "Your bringing sexy back."

Kanda smirked and was like, "And all the boys don't know how to act."

Allen snorted, "I don't know the other lyrix."

Kanda was like CHU or whatever sound he makes when he is pisssssed and was like, "Baka moyashi-chan-sama-kun-san." Japanesely then he sang again but now he sounds like Brandon Urie from My Chemical Romance.

"Dirty babe. Yu see these shackles baby I'm you're slave. I let you shit me when I miss bee-hive. Cuz no one's ever make me feel this way."

Allen was really turned on and wanted to copulate with Kanda idiosyncratically. They ripped all there close off and they were super hot and Allen looked at Kanda's peepee nervous-like because it was the size of Japan (lol remember?) and then giggled silently. Kanda smirked femininely and spinned his peepee around like a helicopter.

"Yeah? You want me to put my lime in your coconut and shake it all up?"

Allen screamed turned on-ly…and then started to put…Kanda's Japan in his mouth.

"Yeah, put my milk in your coco puffs."

Allen screamed again and it made Kanda's peepee vibrate in his mouth and he was super hot. Allen was straight before but now he likes to suck on Kanda's Japan because now he is gay.

"Kanda-san-kun-sama," Allen said in fucked up Japanese, "Put your noodles in my soba!1!1!"

Kanda obligated and stuck 3 fingers and 1 toe inside Allen's apple colored butthole...

"You better not have shat in the past few days, I don't like moyashi shit on my hand."

"Fuck you, Kanda. All that food has to go somewhere."

The two looked at each other sexily and moaned in a 2 part harmony. Kanda thrusted his toe in and out of Allen's butt and the latter started whimpering like my dog Mr. Fuzzles when we had to put him down at the vet's. But it was hot.

"Do it baby, put your illegal nuclear missile in my North Korea!1!1!1"

"You want me to put my T-Rex in your Triceratops, bitch? Fuck you, cunt hole bitch fucker. Fuck shit crap dumb balls weewee penis." Kanda cursed (I forgot he did that, sorry guise).

Allen moaned catastrophically, "Kanda!1! Fart in my mouth and call me a whore!11!1"

Kanda began to pump his big penne pasta and alfredo sauce came out because he was aroused. He really liked Allen like loved him.

Then the world stopped and exploded because Kanda realized that he'd loved Allen all along! He just never realized it or had it come to mind or felt anything about it! Allen's eyes opened really wide like that one squirrel I ran over with my new car when I got my permit and he moaned again because he realized that he loved Kanda a lot! Like a lot, a lot! He was now gay.

Allen played with Kanda's yellow-golden-bleach-falsely dyed hair and it was down from its ponytail because fuck ponytails and fuck shit, bitch cunt ho pimp whore penis penis penis (this is Kanda thinking because it's bad words).

"Oooohhhhh BBS-chan you are so sexxxy and are a good writer!1!11!" Allen shouted but then Kanda stopped and was like,

"Whose BBS-chan?"

And Allen was dumb founded and was like, "It stands for Big Balls and Sex. It means I like you a lot in British talk because I'm from there."

"Ok." Kanda blurted sadistically.

Then they realized they Kanda still had his toe and fingers in Allen's butt hole so Kanda took them out. Then he forgot that he didn't find the prostate (oops, I forgot that he needs to due that lol) so he shoved his toe back up in Allen and founded it. He poked it vehemently and made Allen scream a lot and moan like my mom does when she's having a hangover and I am being a nuisance in the morning.

Then Kanda throws his penis passionately into Allen's big gaping butt hole that is actually a lie because in reality it is really tight like a pimpin' ride.

"Ass fuck shit bitch Allen crap dick penis penis penis!1!" Kandy-chan said angrily but hotly.

He then thrusted in and out of Allen's butthole and they kissed a lot with tongues and hotness. Then Kanda sucked on Allen's giant nipple (sorry guise I forgot that they have to touch nipples) and pinched the other one with his thumbs. Allen's back made an upside down U shape because he was hot and turned on.

Their weewees couldn't stand it much longer and they were both shouting sexily because they love each other a lot.

"Yeah babe, activate my innocence!1! Put your Crown in my Clown, baby!1!1!" Allen mumbled crappily.

"Penis fuck shit penis penis penis!"

"Uhh yeahh Ooohhh baby uhhh yeah ooohh oh unnhhh uhh yeah." Allen said loudly.

Then…

THEY BOTH CUMMED!11!1!

"I love you" Allen shouted bitchily.

"I love you, too" Kanda hissed merrily.

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**SO DAT WAS MY 1****ST**** YOAI SO PLS BE NAISU. OK? AND REVIEW A LOT PLS.**

**FANX :DDD**

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**No seriously, review. The button below dispenses super awesome interweb high fives.**


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